Pulse Opinion: Why married people cheating in Lagos is no longer surprising

Pulse Opinion: Why married people cheating in Lagos is no longer surprising

[html]The boldness with which married people cheat in Lagos is so, so appalling. How did the city get here?
   
   
   
       
       
           
               
                   

The boldness with which married people cheat in Lagos is so, so appalling. How did the city get here?

               
           
               
                   

There was once a  of a cheating pair who died while having car sex in Ogba, Lagos. Both of deceased were married and in fact, the man in question was a close friend to the woman’s husband.

               
           
               
                   

That cheating is bad is something that can’t possibly be said enough. But it appears that Lagos couples either don’t hear any of these or they just don’t subscribe to the idea of marital exclusivity.

               
           
               
                   

This is not to free cheats in other Nigerian towns and cities from blame and scorn, because they are also terrible, but the likelihood that the probability that they are anywhere close to the special specie of cheats in Lagos looks unlikely.

               
           
               
                   

Such is the blatant flouting of marital vows in Lagos that older married men and women unabashedly hit you up, soliciting sex. Some young, newly-weds do not even wait to leave their wedding venue before planning their next booty call. The shamelessness just cuts through age boundaries, to be very sincere.

               
           
               
                   

Their modus operandi sometimes include offering money to smoothen the process, especially by the older ones. Some - mostly he younger ones - don't offer money. They actually suck up to unsuspecting victims, and charm them into relationships. Like, a whole boyfriend and girlfriend relationship with another woman, as if they do not have a wife and a couple of kids at home.

               
           
               
                   

                                   

Your Lagos girlfriend could actually be somebody's wife.. [Credit: Bustle]

               

               
           
               
                   

That's exactly what happened to Rose's [not her real name] friend in their final year in University. As Rose narrates to me: "She ran into this guy at a bar where she was attending a friend's birthday and they just hit it off from there."

               
           
               
                   

That instant connection would power them through eight months of bae-ship.

               
           
               
                   

"This asshole was actually acting unmarried all the time, and even his friends all acted same such that my friend never suspected a thing.

               
           
               
                   

They did everything n that time. Dates. Sex. Everything," Rose says, a bitter smile on her face at the recollection of what happened almost four years back.

               
           
               
                   

Eventually, as it often happens, the truth came out and the fake relationship had to end. But in typical fashion, "he was actually flippant about it when my friend found his wedding ring, neatly wrapped in tissue paper and concealed in the glove compartment of his car.

               
           
               
                   

"He felt no remorse despite my friend's tears and tried to validate his actions by saying his marriage was a different thing, and that it has nothing to do with them." Rose rants.

               
           
               
                   

                                   

Men, women... it does not matter what their gender is. Married people are just getting it on in Lagos.[Credit: Sexy Confidence]

               

               
           
               
                   

Paul is a bachelor in Lagos who works hard and hardly stays at home except on weekends. That does not stop his 30-something-year-old married neighbour from making moves on him.

               
           
               
                   

ALSO READ: Why do happily-married women cheat?

               
           
               
                   

“My neighbor – a pretty married woman – would always try to initiate conversation with me and when that didn’t work, she got my phone number from our gate man and kept calling me for a hangout with her.

               
           
               
                   

“She even invited me to go with her to an event at her place of work. I always politely rejected her advances. Maybe if I had rudely rebuffed her, she would have kept a distance,” says the Lagos big boy.

               
           
               
                   

The married woman was still on his case at the time of writing this piece.

               
           
               
                   

Joe has a similar story and so does Ahmed, both of whom have been hit on by married women in their 30’s and 50’s respectively.

               
           
               
                   

                                   

Evenly balanced. That's the nature of cheating among married folks in Nigeria [Credit: Youtube]

               

               
           
               
                   

Obviously married men are just as bad as women at this.

               
           
               
                   

Toluwani is in her 20s and has been in Lagos all her life. She has seen so much of Lagos married men to have the opinion that way over 80% of them cheat on their wives.

               
           
               
                   

“What’s most annoying is how disrespectful they are about it,"