Why I had a secret wedding and never share photos of my husband online - Di’ja

Why I had a secret wedding and never share photos of my husband online - Di’ja

Mavin star, Afro Di’ja, aka Hadiza Salma Blell, had an exclusive interview with LIB recently where she gave reasons why she had a secret wedding to her husband Rotimi and why she never shares photos of him online.

"It was very intimate and it was also in my home town, Kaduna, so it’s kind of hard to get people to come over there and then Kaduna is not as ‘Noisy’ as Lagos. So anything like that could be probably called low key. I just don’t translate them into being posted on my page. And I guess in the ‘Post it’ ‘Tweet it’  world; you almost kind of look abnormal if you don’t
But it’s not like am going out of my way not to, i guess it’s  just not in my character to do it all the time, but i’m also getting  better at my Instagram.  At least you see my baby and all other stuff,  (laughs). So I always say there is difference between privacy and  secrecy, it’s not something to hide. Again, i guess people forget that  when you are in the entertainment industry, you also have to live a  normal life. For instance, i wake up in the morning and i give my son a  bath, and sometimes my mom will, and other times, it is a maid and an  aunt that would help me with him. So don’t forget you have a real life  too and you have people to answer to as well. Again you wake up and you  have people that are depending on you, and people you pay for the work  they do for you, you know as much as we have this entertainment life,  and it’s amazing, i mean, God bless you all for liking us so much  because it’s actually your love that has put us on the pedestal, but we  also do these things and wake up with a regular life, so in that sense  and sometimes because i could get carried away, that's majorly the  problem.

Read the full interview below...

LIB: Tell us how it’s been, working with Don Jazzy, and Mavin Record as a whole?

Di’ja: Working  with Mavin has really, really been a dream come true, because, the  record is like a family. It’s like working with your brother. I mean  sometimes you have your arguments and other times you have your fun  moments. There are so many memorable moments and pretty cool ones.  Sometimes when you are working in Mavin, you don’t get to see each other  that much. Sometimes you see, Korede, sometimes you see, Reekado, and  sometimes you see Tiwa, but we are getting to a point where we see each  other alot more now. So it’s fun, it’s exciting and it has its own  moments too. But what you do is to pick up and you start moving again,  yeah!

LIB: talking about the record label, you guys recently  got a new addition to the family. What do you think of Iyanya joining  the label?

Di’ja: It is Iyanya, and i mean, he is Iyanya. He  is a brand on his own, so him coming in, only adds to the label and  makes it greater especially for someone like myself that is still seeing  so many new things that I could add and then increase my own talents  and what I want to share with everybody. He is a blessing, because there  is so much we can learn from him, and there is so much I can learn from  him. You know, in Mavin record we are like a family, we like to  collaborate with each other, and by the Grace of God, we are going to  get to that point where we start doing songs together, so i think it’s a  new chapter that we should all look forward to.


LIB: How do you manage being a mother and an artiste?

Di’ja:  (Laughs) Well, there are so many people that have done this before me,  thousands and millions of them. So I think that the best thing to have  is an amazing support system, when you have an amazing support system  and you have people that are willing to work together with you, for your  interest as well as theirs, it makes it a lot easier to get bye  especially when you are doing stuff. I mean, I can’t tell you it’s been  easy. I give my mom so much respect, I respect her so much already for  the kind of support i get from her. it makes you want to appreciate your  own mom or your parents like ten times more. It is amazing, for me.  It’s an amazing journey right now. My son is the light of my life. You  know what i mean. I also have an amazing husband that is very  supportive, and i have an amazing family, and we all work together to  make it happen, yeah.

LIB: You don’t share pictures of your husband on the social media, why is that?

Di’ja: Even before we got married he is a very private person, and i actually  believe in respecting people’s zones until they are ready. It’s not like  we don’t. So because a lot of things don’t happen right now-people are  like, why are you not doing this and why are you not doing that, what’s  wrong, what are you hiding, you know what i mean? We are not hiding  anything, we actually go to events together and do stuff together, and i  just feel, for me, am not very good at..., I like enjoying the moment,  yeah, and am actually very bad at doing the posting thing. I don’t know  if you have noticed, i mean recently, I started doing selfies when  people were like, Di’ja, why are you not doing selfies? So not long ago,  i did my very first mirror selfie, (Laughs). Not like i don’t want to  do these things sometimes, I just enjoy the moments and forget to take  pictures when we hang out, that’s why presently, i am always begging my  crew, (‘please help me take pictures mek me sef dey pose na, wetin dey  happen?’) So, it’s just that thing where I am enjoying the moment and  then I forget. So we are not hiding anything. Sometimes if he can make  it with me to an event, he comes, and if can’t, he will come to the  next. So it’s not like he is not there, or that it doesn’t happen, i  guess it’s just that, it happens and i don’t get to translate it on my  page.

LIB: Was that why you did a very low key wedding?

Di’ja: Well,  i mean, if you call having about 400 people grace your wedding low key,  then i guess, yeah.  It was more of just intimate and it’s also in my  home town, Kaduna, so it’s kind of hard to get people to come over there  and then Kaduna is not as ‘Noisy’ as Lagos. So anything like that could  be probably called low key, but like i said, most of these things are  happening but, where the problem lies is that i just don’t translate  them onto being posted on my page. And i guess in the ‘Post it’ ‘Tweet  it’ world; you almost kind of look abnormal if you don’t. But it’s not  like am going out of my way not to, i guess it’s just not in my  character to do it all the time, but i’m also getting better at my  Instagram.  At least you see my baby and all other stuff, (laughs). So I  always say there is difference between privacy and secrecy, it’s not  something to hide. Again, i guess people forget that when you are in the  entertainment industry, you also have to live a normal life. For  instance, i wake up in the morning and i give my son a bath, and  sometimes my mom will, and other times, it is a maid and an aunt that  would help me with him. So don’t forget you have a real life too and you  have people to answer to as well. Again you wake up and you have people  that are depending on you, and people you pay for the work they do for  you, you know as much as we have this entertainment life, and it’s  amazing, i mean, God bless you all for liking us so much because it’s  actually your love that has put us on the pedestal, but we also do these  things and wake up with a regular life, so in that sense and sometimes  because i could get carried away, that's majorly the problem.

LIB: Let’s  get back to music. Your music kind of stands out from what every other  Mavin artiste does. How have you been able to maintain your distinct  style of music?

Di’ja: First of all, thank you so much for  even listening to my music, but i don’t think, adding new things into  your music or adding commercial things into your music, makes you  un-original. I actually love commercial music. I think I’m in my own  world because sometimes i actually think that my music is not commercial  pop, but it is everybody else that tells me something else. So i guess  as the saying goes, the word celebrity means you are a celebrated  person, meaning, you are working for the people. So i don’t run away  from being influenced by certain things because no matter how you look  at it, everything from when you are born is influenced by something,  even how you think and what you are, regardless that somebody told you  that, that’s what you are going to be, it’s later, later that you will  start forming that, ah!, ‘i want to be myself; you know what i mean. So  we have a platform called 'music' to express different things. But first  of all, i always give it up to the grace of God, i cannot lie, I’m very  much in the believe that it’s not all me, because, as much as i have  plans, it’s God that says it all. So apart from that, i honestly just do  what i love. I do music i would love to hear and when same is compared  to what every other person is doing, people would kind it. But i don’t  really think there is so much difference in music in terms of how it  makes people feel. For me music is how you interpret it, if it makes you  feel good and you are listening to it, then that is your kind of music  and there is no need to be figuring it out, like what kind of genre it  is, because even as we dey now, (everything just dey fuse) you know,  everything just ends up coming back together. So for me, i think i just  enjoy what i do and i do what i enjoy, and if you like it along the way,  I’m very grateful and if you don’t, i hope that i do something  you’d  like. But i try not to... (as you guys deh talk am, trend setter), i  just  try my best, even if I try it and I look somehow doing it, I try  it again and you know, one might just end up refining it. Everybody  started somehow, and refined themselves later. For me, i just keep doing  what am doing and refining same, so the more people I know and the more  things that influence me, the more it allows me to form my own music.  Again, I also think it’s the lack of my ability to copy someone, that  gives me the 'how' to form my own music. (So because i no fit be you, i  go com add one kind style like this to my song), and people would be  like, ‘ah! You are original. So nothing under the sun is original my  dear, we are just influenced by something somehow.

LIB: How come apart from ‘Dorobucci’ you and Tiwa have not collaborated?

Di’ja: Uhm,  do you see how many we are? And how do you know we haven’t? I keep  telling people that, it’s not all the songs that you recorded today,  that you’d be release today. So depending on how long you have been  working. When you started is only as irrelevant as whatever people feel  that they already know about what you are doing, but then you have been  working on many things, but I always say, how do you even know we  haven’t collaborated yet, it’s just that the said song, you haven’t  heard it yet. Then there are so many of us, and there are so many songs  in Mavin right now, because we like music, and each and every one of us,  bring something very different, which is why it works so well. So  sometimes you see similarities some other times you see differences, and  it is those differences that complements the other. So you never know  what to expect until you see.

LIB: How do you feel about Tiwa being referred to as the first lady of Mavin records?

Di’ja: But i met her there, right? I mean, she is the first lady of Mavin  records. It’s kind of funny when people want to state the obvious. Tiwa  is such an inspiring person. Set aside the fact that we are even in the  same record label, i mean, she has done so much and been through so  much, and she still keeps this standard of performance that she does all  the time, you know what i mean, you can see it. For me, it’s inspiring,  and like i said, i met her there. When you go to a place and you meet  someone there, it’s one of two things, it’s either you learn from them  or you don’t, and so what i am doing and what would be good for me is to  learn from somebody that is that strong and that can inspire me and  it’s really mad cool, yeah.

 
LIB: So what is the biggest challenge you’ve faced working with Mavin record?

Di’ja: I think one of the greatest challenge you will face working with Mavin  is actually feeling like you are creating hits. Because hits are being  made in that place, and na you go tell yourself sey, (omoh, mek i stand  up), you know what i mean. Whatever challenge i am going to be talking  about now, is going to be my strength later, because, those guys force  you to be better, because you can’t be in Mavin and not do great music, i  mean, we have hard times and no matter what, you are going to try  certain things and people are not going to like it, but if you are in  that group of people, you would be inspired to try something else. So  it’s more or less of saying, ‘How do you keep up? That’s what you should  be asking me, because everybody is hungry and everybody is working, and  what i like about Mavin is that nobody is going to tell you to work.  When you see what people are creating, you yourself you’d just be like,  (omoh, make i do something or, why i dey sleep sef, why i dey nap). So  it’s a beautiful place to be in.

LIB: So do you plan to own a record label

Di’ja: Uhm,  it is not in my plans, and it’s not like there is anything to fear  about doing that, it’s just that owning a record label is a very hard  work. Dealing with artist with very different personality types,  thoughts and creativity is not very easy. So is not something i can say,  oh, because you did it then i can do it. So right now, in my mind, i  will never tell you that nothing is ever going to make me own one, but  as of now, i don’t feel i am that kind of person to own one. But then i  can have artistes, i mean people that are doing very well that i can be  part of their lives and development ‘cos i always believe that if God  blesses you with something, if you can in turn do it for somebody else,  even if it is one person, then you’ve tried. So i can help someone else  build, but to say to own a label right now, i don’t think i am just  about that kind of a person right now.

LIB: You are actually a  very beautiful lady, and we believe you would have lots of male  admirers, so how do you manage that part of your life?

Di’ja: Anybody  that kind of walks around have admirers, even babies, people chuckle  and admirer them. Having admirers is not something only me encounters,  everybody does. So you treat them with respect. If he crosses the line,  then you check him, but i believe you treat everybody with some kind of  respect.

LIB: Tell us how many children you plan to have as an artiste?

Di’ja: You  know artistes call their albums children too, so which one are you  talking about-(Laughs). Uhm, as many as God gives me I will take. I mean  if you get to a point where, if God continues to bless you, then you  say, okay, I want to chill, then fine. But as of now, I have just had my  first one and it’s also a very amazing experience and hard work, but  it’s not that kind of hard work that you are never going to do. It is  just that kind of work that no matter how tired you are, you are just  gonna do it, but honestly, God is the one that can answer that question  for you, because i have learnt that no matter how much i tell you the  things i want to do, they will change. So i would rather not go back and  then look at it and when they ask me a question and be like how is it  that i said i want ten kids and i only have two? But i would say, as  many healthy kids as God can give me, that i can handle, I’d take. 

LIB:  How has it been working as a married woman now, compared to when you were not married?

Di’ja:  Honestly it is a whole new experience, because you equally have people  who need your attention, a hundred per cent. So i am not going to say, i  would put fifty per cent here and put the rest there. I have to put in  two hundred per cent. Because, like i was saying, regardless of how you  live your life, you are still going to do your work. So you can’t say  you want to give your family fifty per cent and all that, you have to  give them even more love. For me, it has just increased my heart and  increased how much i actually have the capacity to love something  actually beyond myself. So it’s something i am doing because it’s there  now, and am not changing the situation. It is fun and it’s hard work,  because you are balancing studio time and home.

LIB: So what kind of support do you get from your husband

Di’ja: I  get a lot of support. You like a woman, it’s either meeting  expectations or not meeting expectations, you know the way the world is  moving, and the love that people have for you, so for me it’s a learning  experience and it is beyond anything i can actually tell you in words.  It is something i didn’t plan and i am grateful for it.

LIB:  Going back to divorce rate in the country, especially amongst  celebrities, how do you feel about it and what’s your take about it?

Di’ja:  Well,  i don’t know if it is necessarily fair to say amongst celebrities, it  is just because celebrity lives are kind of out there in the open and  sort of magnified, it looks like it’s that much. But there is a lot that  goes on in the country that I feel like it’s actually neglected in  terms of..., i mean, it’s almost like a psychological warfare people are  dealing with in this country. So there is just so much out there  happening in people's homes. So it’s not like these things are so much  amongst celebrities. It is just that when you see something in a certain  industry over and over again, you just believe that it is so much  there. But I just think, it is everywhere and it is what it is. If you  have a divorce experience, people should more of be asking, ‘how do you  deal with it’ as opposed to why it’s happening because there are certain  things that are happening and we can stop them, so if it is happening,  then we should be dealing with, how to take care of people after it  happens as opposed to beating it on the head that it is actually  happening. So let's actually focus our energy on ‘how to help people  after a divorce or something', as opposed to, oh, it’s happening so  much, is it because of the industry, is it because of this or that,  because alot of things happen every day, and then the social media has  just made it magnified on a certain group of people, so that's my take  and how i feel about it.

LIB: So how do you think it can be managed then?

Di’ja: Everything  can be managed by the power of God. I mean, I can’t tell you how to  manage things happening in people’s homes. So I don’t even know the root  of the problem so, i can’t really tell you how to fix something if i  don’t even know the root of the problem. But i think, the problem is, we  have so much opinion with surface knowledge and we do not even know the  root of certain problems, and we can’t really fix something that we  feel we have answer to already. I think the power that the public has is  that they can have a public opinion, and when you have an opinion, you  suddenly start feeling that things are not moving the way they should,  or things are not the way they should be. So it’s time, first of all  they need time. You need time to fix everything and nothing is going to  happen overnight, nothing good is happens overnight, or nothing that  will be everlasting will happen overnight. So you need time in order to  manage things like that. For me the biggest thing is, the less people  prying into things and making them magnified than they really are, the  better these people would also sort of manage their lives. And i think  managing information would also help people psychologically to sort of  deal with their internal problems. You know we are in the new age of  spreading information whether it is true or not, and these thinks  actually affect people, you kind of have to be psychologically strong to  deal with all the information sometimes. We are not really dealing with  guns we are dealing with psychological warfare in the world, like;  people’s minds are actually messing with them; because people sometimes  look at something that should be in their marriages, and they compare it  with someone else’s and you are like telling yourself, ‘ah ah! My own  is not like this and so on and so forth. You know, i think, we really  need to work in healing each other and healing ourselves within and kind  of not try to focus on every other person’s problems, because if we  start fixing our problems, that’s one problem down right? So everybody  should ‘kinda mind your own’ because if you mind your own and you deal  with your problems internally, then everything on the outside will be  automatically fixed, let's start there first, yeah!

LIB: Yeah,  so do you mind sharing how you have managed to keep the bond alive in  your marriage? Let there be a message to someone who is already  struggling with his or her marriage right now, or celebrities who  actually have divorced or are struggling with theirs right now.

Di’ja: (Sings song with her fingers pointed upward—Oluwa ni, you don see Oluwa  ni, ooo?). You see your mama prayers enh, mek you no joke with your  mama prayer at all. I earnestly believe so strong in prayers. I am not  trying to skip your question or anything, but nothing is possible if  there is no strength in God. If you don’t love God, you cannot love a  human being. I am not trying to tell you that people that don’t have  love for God now that that's why we are separating so much, or maybe  that okay the God i pray to, is not the God they pray to, and different  things or whatever. For me if you have something higher than you that  you love, the love that you will give to a human being would be  priceless. So you can’t..., i mean, i believe so greatly in the  Almighty. So this is how i am going to answer this question, i have love  for God and i have fear for the almighty. So it’s hard for me to take  my hand and not use it to help somebody. If you pray, you will find the  answers you need for your marriage i believe. There is so many answers  in sitting down to yourself and having a conversation with God, or even a  relationship with him. It is called faith. We believe in what we don’t  see, so if you have faith, there is so many boundaries you can break,  yeah!

LIB: So when is Di’ja giving her fans an album?

Di’ja: By 2017, at least. We have been working on a beautiful music and great  music for you to dance to. I love music, and that’s the truth, my  category in Nigeria, is Alternative. There is so much that is going to  happen (in sha Allah) in 2017, and it’s already happening, so i just  need your support and your attention.

LIB: Have you regretted anything in life?

Di’ja: I don’t regret anything because whether i like or not, it happens.

LIB: What do you think the Nigerian music Industry can do differently, what advice do you have to give the Industry?

Di’ja: Honestly, what i would actually like to say is, ‘more support from the  people, more support from everybody. You have to realise that there is  something we don’t do. We actually don’t give credit enough here in  Nigeria. The Nigerian Music Industry has employed a lot of people, and  as much as it might not be up to the standards that we expect it to be,  it has given jobs, and i think that the more assistance we get from  different organisations that are related to the Nigerian music industry,  even from outside as well, you know, if anybody has better ways to do  something, where ever we can get extra funding coming from, it would  help the industry. I mean, alot of people are actually trying. So, I  don’t particularly like talking down on what feeds me, because there  moments when i have had really bad moments, yes, but that doesn’t  necessarily mean that for you it’s been all bad, because when i was  having it fun i wasn’t complaining but when thing are not going so cool,  that’s when i start saying how crappie it is and all that stuff.  So if  we have the right arms and support, everything is going to flourish in  the industry more than it is already doing, but you have to give it  credit for where it is already, i mean it still has holes, but it’s  definitely feeding us.

LIB: Is there anything you don’t like happening in the industry you want to point out.

Di’ja:  There is always something you don’t like. The thing is, what you  actually don’t really like in the industry is what is actually needed in  the industry to make it flourish, ‘cos it is entertainment we talking  about. So as much as am going to sit here and tell you i don’t like  certain things, the whole idea is to have our audience entertained. So  anything i don’t like, will probably be entertaining somebody else. So  for me, it’s anything you are doing, you try and do it in your favor, as  long as you are not hurting anyone in the process, i mean, yeah, that's  it.

LIB: In one of Lynxxx’s recent reports as a singer, he  said he switched from circular to doing what many people now brand as  Gospel music, because according to him, he wasn’t finding fulfillment in  the former, so as a circular music artiste, are you finding fulfillment  in what you are doing in relation with serving God?

Di’ja: First  of all, i would actually give credit to Lynxxx for mentioning a few  times that being close to God doesn’t necessarily mean, he is shutting  everyone else out.  He is singing songs that he feels is glorifying his  God, you know, but he didn’t tell anybody he is a gospel artiste. Again,  I think we always try to define certain things the way it makes sense  to us and we actually do not listen to what the other person is trying  to tell us, like if it doesn’t fit into what we have in our minds, we  think it is its wrong. I really can’t tell you, I mean even in terms of  religion, there is still so much that i am even learning, because i  don’t know it all; and i am constantly asking God, whatever is not good  enough for me, push it far, and whatever is good for me, bring it close.  I don’t know what those things really are sometimes, and sometimes i do  know what they are. So when God answers your questions sometimes he  answers them in such a way that you are the one that can really tell he  has answered your questions. So i just ask God anything that i am doing  that i am not supposed to be doing, please take it far from me. And i  can’t tell you other than that, because sometimes somebody else be  saying 'if you are really close to God, you shouldn’t be doing what you  are doing', so i really can’t even argue with them, because, the truth  is, i don’t even know exactly what i should be doing until am even doing  it, because a lot of us ask which way is the right way? And there are  ways that we’ve learnt, that (no matter how you do am, naim be dey right  way), and then (e get some people wey be sey, no matter how the thing  do you), make you respect your elders and parents sha, and they don’t  really look at how you try do am. So this question with God, i really  can’t tell you that what I’m doing is the right thing o, but i can tell  you that every time i pray to God, i tell him to push anything that is  not good for me far, and any door that is okay for me, if he opens it, i  will take it as a blessing and if he closes it, i’d take it that it  means i should move the other direction, so yeah.

LIB:  what’s your advice to upcoming artistes?

Di’ja: honestly  if you really believe in what you are doing, really don’t give up.  There is really no hard formula to this, just hard work; so no hard  formula to making it. There is this quote i always like to say; ‘you  can’t really cheat a hustle.’ As much as some people look so good on  camera, and it’s looking as if nothing has ever touched them, that’s the  art of this entertainment industry that no matter how sad you are, once  you on that camera, you have to make that smile come back. So just keep  doing what you are doing to pursue your dreams, as long as you are not  hurting anybody, put the 'pedal to the meddle,' keep pushing it and then  you honestly pray, ‘cos you really can’t joke with your prayers and I’m  not trying to change anybody’s mind or anything, but i really do  believe in it, in terms of faith, i really believe it helps do things  people say you can’t do".

This post first appeared on Linda Ikeji's Blog. Read the original story here.

Source: Why I had a secret wedding and never share photos of my husband online - Di’ja