Marriage Jokes - Oya Crack ya Rib (Part 2)

Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people doing the same thing.
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
What is the difference between a marriage and a war?
A marriage is a war in which the enemies can sleep together!
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
Bad Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....."
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somewhat deteriorate during the night.